Saturday, July 10, 2010


Yes, Elle is a pseudonym, and I hope that you, my (perhaps imaginary) reader, won't mind that I don't disclose my identity here. Why?

I debated about what sort of identity to construct for myself here, because I am committed to doing my part to break through the stigma that our society has about mental illness. At the same time, I want to be candid with what I write here; I worry that I might censor myself if someone I knew personally could simply stumble upon my blog and know I was the one writing it.

Although in my last post, I stated that my target audience is other people who have OCD and are trying to live with it-- and this is true-- I know that some of the people who find this blog may be looking to understand what their loved one with OCD is experiencing. And this, in the end, was the deciding factor in concealing my identity. If you are here because you are trying to understand the OCD experience, I want you to be able to imagine that I am your mother, or your sister, or your daughter, or your lover.

For this reason, also, I may sometimes limit the detail with which I describe my symptoms, or blur or even edit details that seem too closely interwoven with my real self. I have never been ashamed of my symptoms and do not mind talking about them on a person-to-person basis. If you have questions or would like to simply speak to someone who can relate, I welcome your email at elle [dot] ocd [at] gmail [dot] com.


  1. hi! i'm a mom my kiddo has OCD and she's 10. i am reading this to understand this disease better - not only for her but how my life and hers are so the same and different too. i read above that your symptoms have changed over time and you don't deal with them all at once. that's so comforting because i'm up at a crazy hour overwhelmed with all of her symptoms - there are so very many! i look forward to your future posts and appreciate that you gave "background" for your blog too!!!

  2. @Tiffany,
    Hi! I'm sorry to be responding after so many months to your post. I'm so glad to hear that, as a mother, you're trying to understand your daughter's symptoms. If there is one bright point to my experience with OCD, it's that I've grown much closer to my mother through the process of my treatment. The lengths she's gone through to understand my symptoms are the closest I'll ever get to understanding her unconditional love for me-- until I have a child of my own, maybe!
    Yes, my OCD at 10 was very different from my OCD at 20 and beyond. Every person with OCD is different, but for now, I think I can give this advice: take it one symptom, and one day, at a time. Good luck to both of you :)